Friday, October 23, 2009
♥Bold it, baby.
"Decided that I've had enough of this melodrama, time to pick up the pieces. Hand me that glue bottle!"
1) smoked weed or cigs
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex (HAHAHAHAHA! WELL, DUH!)
6) made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs
TOTAL: 5
11) taken pain killers
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
13) lied to your parents
14) lied to a friend
15) snuck out of the house
16) done something illegal
17) cut yourself
18) hurt someone
19) wished someone to die
20) seen someone die
TOTAL SO FAR: 12
21) missed curfew
22) stayed out all night
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
24) been to a therapist
25) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair
27) received a ticket
28) been in a wreck
29) been to a club
30) been to a bar
TOTAL SO FAR: 15
31) been to a wild party
32) seen the Mardi Gras
34) had a spring break in Florida
35) sniffed anything
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap
40) own a 50 cent cd
TOTAL SO FAR: 19
41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out
48) fainted
49) had a crush on your neighbor
50) had someone sneak into your room
TOTAL SO FAR: 23
51) snuck into someone else's room
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert
54) dry humped someone
55) been called a slut
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
60) brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush
TOTAL SO FAR: 27
61) consider ludacris your favorite rapper
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall
64) skipped school
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury
67) gone to court
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
69) caught something on fire
70) lied about your age
TOTAL SO FAR: 31
71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) been cheated on
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed
TOTAL SO FAR: 33
81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84) watched tv for 12 hours straight
85) been to a fair
86) been called a bad influence
87) cursed
88) prank called someone
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
90) cheated on a test
TOTAL SO FAR: 43
91) cheated on homework.
92) received/given a handjob.
93) been pushed into a pool.
94) played pool.
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight.
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
TOTAL: 48
10-20 = goodie good
21-30 = a little rebellious
31-40 = getting hot baby
41-50 = rebel
51-60 = total bad girl/boy
61-70 = bitch/asshole
71-80 = cant believe you made it this far
81-90 = fucking bad ass
91-100 = see you in hell
HAHAHAHA, I'm the REBEL. ^^
Labels: HAHAHA
The Banana Speaks!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
dear little girl,
why are you feeling blue?
did someone crush your little heart
&& you think that the pain's still new?
well let me tell you a little secret
from one broken heart to the next
it'll soon pass over, all this hurt && this pain
&& you'll finally realize that he's your rotten ex.
now i may sound a tad bit cold
maybe it's all this crying buckets of tears alone
but then we have to stand up && remember our pride
catch it, before it too has flown.
Labels: PoeticDesires
The Banana Speaks!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
It feels like there's a huge rain cloud pouring itsy bitsy rain drops onto my head. I feel myself opening my arms, welcoming the rain. I want to get soaked in it. Enveloped by the calmness of it all. The sublime purity of being washed over. For a split second I feel like I truly am at peace. Then I realize ... It isn't even raining. Not one drop. (Parel,2009)
Labels: IssueTissue, ♥
The Banana Speaks!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
At around 10:30pm last night the truth finally came out.
I guess V***y couldn't stand it anymore so she told me EVERYTHING I need to know about HIM.
He's been in Zamboanga all along.
So you guys can totally imagine the buckets of tears that fell last night. I felt like a total dumbass. Or maybe it's HIM. He's a total asshole? Is he? I can't understand why he lied. He lied to me. AGAIN.
V***y confirmed that his mum got his phone & cash. She confirmed other things too which calmed me down but when she told me that He escaped to Dumaguete for a stupid car race... That was it. That piece of information wanted to make me hurt HIM so bad the way He hurt me. Does he even realize how painful it is? He can afford to escape to Dumaguete for that fucking race but he couldn't even make ways to see me? To be with me? To try to show me how much he loves me...
Does he even love me the way he says he does? I'm doubting it. I don't believe it anymore. It seems that he's toying with my heart. Maybe that's it. Maybe I am just a toy to him.
"Pampalipas oras" as my best friend bluntly said...
---
I keep letting people hurt me, it's as if I never learned. (Parel,2009)
Labels: DAMN, IssueTissue, ♥
The Banana Speaks!
Friday, October 16, 2009
No, everything is not okay. Hand me a shot of tequila now. (Parel,2009)
---
Everything between HIM & me isn't as pretty as I'd like it to be. I have no contact with him whatsoever. The feelings in my chest are taking hold of me. I'm trying my very best not to let it affect me. The emptiness is killing me. Slowly but surely. What I'm feeling now happens to be one of the worst feelings in the world. It's the kind that sucks all the energy out of you. The kind that leaves your pillow soaked in your salty tears. The kind that gives you tired puffy eyes in the morning. I hate it. I hate not being able to know what exactly is going on. I hate having to calm myself down when all I really want to do is fly to Davao and find out once and for all if I should even be holding on...
Tomorrow at exactly 1:48am will be our 48th day as a "couple" though it doesn't really feel like we are a "couple". So many boys have started calling/texting me. All wanting to "give it a shot". I don't wanna give it a shot. I wanna give a million shots to HIM. I want HIM. I need HIM.
I guess it's because I LOVE HIM.
Now I'm starting to sound pathetic. It isn't like me to be this way. Everybody knows that I'm strong enough not to let a guy control me. But it's different with HIM. I want HIM to control me. He already does without even trying.
I love HIM && it's killing me. It tears me apart little by little everyday. It hurts. And I don't know what to do. Should I keep holding on? I want to. Even if it'll hurt like hell.
I AM THE BIGGEST PRETENDER EVER.
To hell with it all. :|
Labels: DAMN, IssueTissue, ♥
The Banana Speaks!
